June 12, 2016, What is forgiveness?

Today we have the chance to think about forgiveness. What does it mean to be forgiven? What does it mean to forgive? There’s more to it than being sorry and hearing, “That’s OK.” There seems to be something else important. It seems to be wrapped up in the meaning of relationships and how we go about creating good relationships.

So much of what the church has taught about forgiveness has turned into some sort of mechanical ritual. Private confession becomes a necessary prerequisite for receiving the sacrament of communion. At it’s worst, confession becomes a way for religion to dominate and control the lives and beliefs of dependent penitents. It’s no wonder that most people want nothing to do with it. This is sad, because true confession can be a discipline of freedom where we let go of our burdens. Our public confession often becomes just another prayer we recite together. We have lost the depth and extent of what it means to be forgiven.

Perhaps this is an explanation for why we have become such unforgiving people. We almost expect the next celebrity or politician to do something shameful so we can set them aside as “just like all the others.” We see in Ahab a kind of ruler we recognize. We have seen his entitled attitude. We have seen his petulance and complaint of the uncooperative poor. We have seen the backroom machinations with plausible deniability. He’s powerful and he gets what he wants. It is the way of the world.

We cheer the righteous words of Elijah. Do we recognize the charge? It is easy to see the sins of others, especially public abuses of power and authority. We know we have had enough of all the pride and contempt of those who think they are our betters. Is that all there is to this story? What about our own pride and contempt of those who oppose or disagree with us? What about our own abuse or neglect of those weaker than us? Most importantly, what about all our plans that are crafted by our own cleverness with no reference to God? Ahab is certainly proud and ruthless. Elijah chides him for lack of respect for God.

Forgiveness is something greater than a righting of accounts. Of course, we are all in debt to someone. Intentionally or not, we often take more than our fair share. In our ignorance, we often abuse of neglect our neighbors. We know that we have done much that needs forgiveness. What is needed is more than paying off our debts. God seeks to restore our relationships. God seeks for us a right ordering of how we relate to each other and to God.

Forgiveness is giving something before it is deserved. God reaches out in love to us before we have anything to return or repay. This is what God seeks for us, and this is what God encourages us to do. The other does not deserve it and that is entirely the point. This also implies that the forgiven one has no power or control over the one who forgives. God forgives because God loves. God wants us to forgive so that we know love and so that we live in relationships where no one has a debt to another and no one has control over another.

Jesus is invited to a meal at the house of a Pharisee. It is a great honor. It is a way of showing respect to Jesus and a way that Jesus can show respect to the Pharisee. Underneath is a sort of control. The Pharisee is imposing a way of understanding God and the world. The Pharisee is in control – or is he? A woman (who is without honor) cries at the feet of Jesus and anoints his feet with oil. This is just as odd at that time as we would find it today. Jesus sees the meaning of it. She has been forgiven much therefore she loves much. In contrast, the Pharisee does not love much and has been forgiven little (or he knows little about how much he has been forgiven.)

God’s forgiveness is never in question. God always forgives. There is nothing we can do that can overcome God’s will to forgive us. The question for us is, “Do we know it?” If we know it (or as much as we can know it), we can know God’s love and grow in our relationship with God. As we grow in our knowledge of God’s love and forgiveness, we become able to forgive and love our neighbors – even the difficult ones! – Even ourselves. God forgives and asks us to forgive because God wants to restore us to each other.